


Shattered Glass

by Vanimy



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: AU, Angst, F/M, So much angst, and politics too, and the dark side
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-03-19 19:57:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18977320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanimy/pseuds/Vanimy
Summary: ROTS AU.After Obi-Wan’s visit, Padmé wants to go to Anakin on Mustafar but thinks better of it at the last minute and decides to wait for him to come back to Coruscant like she'd agreed upon. But what Obi-Wan told her has shaken her and she quickly realizes the Anakin coming back to her is not really her husband…





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I changed my username but it's me, Padlei from FF.net. 
> 
> This story's idea came from one of George Lucas' comments on the ROTS DVD commentary. I also realized that Padmé's decision to go to Mustafar had a lot of unintended consequences and it was fun to try what would've happened if she hadn't made that decision. 
> 
> Warning: It's going to be angsty. Anakin has turned to the dark side after all.
> 
> This story would've never been written, even less published without my long time online friend whose support always meant the world to me : leia_naberrie. Link to her stories here : https://www.fanfiction.net/u/318385/Leah-Naberrie 
> 
> Without further ado, here's the prologue.

A lone figure stood in the darkness, appraising the form covered by the bed sheets silently. It stood in the doorway, listening, staring, unable to move. The form beneath the covers stirred slightly, curls moving on the pillow. The silent eyes watched the strands of hair spilling on the mattress. They roamed, caressing the gentle curves appearing to their attention. The figure moved out of the doorway, walking soundlessly into the room, shadowing the woman's face.

The light barely filtered through the blinds and yet she was still beautiful.

The shadow amplified on her face, as the figure bent down towards her, gloved fingers tracing the contours of the face. Barely touching, hovering over the skin. The fingers got bolder, rested on the smooth skin. They traced small patterns on the cheek.

The face moved. Eyelashes flickered. Brown eyes opened silently. A frown marred her delicate features and then liquid filled the very eyes that went straight to his soul. Her lips opened slightly, revealing a name, whispered with longing and love and acceptance.

"Anakin…"

The whisper echoed in the silent room. The figure stiffened even when small hands escaped the cool sheets and reached out to the face concealed by the dark hood. The fingertips began to caress the rough skin.

The dark figure straightened this time, away from the delicate touch, away from the brown inquisitive eyes and the warmth of the body underneath the bed sheets. Away from the light in her eyes. She straightened slightly in her bed, sitting up, silky nightgown clinging to her curves like a second skin. The brown eyes seemed to pierce through the dark cloak, even partially concealed by the darkness and his shadow covering her. The figure took a step back, retreating backwards to the window. She frowned and her legs elegantly flipped over the side of the bed. Her face was completely illuminated as she got up slowly. The eyes under the hood went immediately to the bulge under the silk as she moved.

"Anakin…"

The name was repeated again, seemingly not belonging to anyone in this room. It dropped into the silence that stretched between the two silent figures standing soundlessly in the dark room.

She didn't seem to care though. Steps taken towards the figure. Hands plunging inside the warmth of the cloak. Brown hair caressing the rough chin, hidden under the hood. A sigh against the chest covered by leather. By layers that did not mean a thing any longer. Those layers, this cloak, this tunic did not embody anything.

From the window of her room, one could still see the smoke erupting from the Jedi temple further away. Bodies still lay across the floor, immobile beside their discarded weapons. The weapon that still clung to the figure's hip.

An insult to the Jedi.

A testament to a new era.

There was much to tell the woman in the figure's arms. There was much to convince her of.

But in the end, it could not be otherwise. Too much had been sacrificed. Too much had been lost, changed to embody the security offered to her.

No longer would she be afraid. No longer would she know war, death or destruction. The figure was immobile while she sighed against the chest. It stood tall, strong, indestructible, protecting her from this entire world outside, threatening to engulf her and the child inside her.

She was safe. She was alive.

And she was murmuring a name that should not be heard in the sanctuary of her room.

Or should it?

The name resonated louder as she looked up, brown eyes filled with tears, hands reaching up to smooth the outlines of the face covered by darkness. The hands gently removed the hood, revealing hair, ruffled and dirty and a human face. The eyes scrutinized her again even as she tentatively inched closer and her lips pressed against the rough skin of his cheek. They pressed there, barely, fleetingly, soft against hard, warm against cold.

The glove reached up and tangled in the long, ruffled hair and brought her closer, the bulge beneath her nightgown pressing against the dark cloak. It pressed her closer as hard and demanding lips closed over hers. The soft lips complied, knowing hands burying inside the longish hair as his face bent closer to hers.

The dark figure disappeared.

Anakin Skywalker embraced his wife in the dark, unforgiving night.


	2. Chapter 1

His lips left hers an instant later. She pressed herself closer still, curls caressing his face soothingly, warmth washing over him through her body. Hands buried inside his hair almost frantically as she pulled away, searching his face.

"Anakin…" she breathed, "I've been so, so worried…" she stammered.

The accent in her voice was true, she was shaking with fear.

"I'm fine, my love."

The words sounded hollow even to his ears. They were everything his earlier words, then, behind that pillar, were not. He sounded comforting, almost lethargic in his happiness but it was a lie. She seemed to sense it for she smoothed the sides of his face between her warm palms. It failed to provide the comfort it once brought him. Her embrace was shallow and cold where it was once warm and soothing.

"Are you hurt?"

Her brown eyes searched his and he smiled. The smile didn't reach his eyes though.

"I'm all right. The war is over. Everything will be all right."

The comforting, soft tone of his voice made her shiver and she frowned. He never again wanted to see her beautiful face marred by a frown. He would see to whatever was troubling her. She would get everything. This world, the galaxy, the whole Universe if needed to be. Everything. He would see to it.

"The Separatists leaders are all dead. The Holonet proclaimed it earlier today," she whispered in the darkness.

But in her voice, there was no contentment or gratitude. There was fear and mistrust. She was hiding something; he could see it in her eyes. Something treacherous, something she would not tell him. Was she betraying him too? Would she turn her back on him like the Jedi did? Like Palpatine himself did? She knew he was the one responsible for this and she did not like it.

"Yes, they are."

The glove reached her cheek and caressed it, in a mockery of what his former self used to do with his real hand. "We're at peace, at last."

Padmé frowned further, and though she did not move an inch, he felt her retreat from him.

The thought left him even colder than he already was.

"Palpatine proclaimed the Empire as well." Her voice was cold, her eyes accusing.

He felt himself lose patience.

"I know. Only the Empire will bring peace. But it won't last long, you will see. Soon enough, Palpatine won't be here to rule us."

Once he knew how to save her, he would kill him with his bare hands.

But his smile didn't seem to convince her. She took a step away from him, arms reaching around herself as if she felt cold. There was something else troubling her, he could feel it. Cold fear wrapped around his heart as her brown eyes seemed to pierce through him. He felt like she knew every single one of his dirty secrets.

She knew what he had done, she knew who he was now, what he was and the thought left him shaking with terror. Padmé would not understand, would never see his way, would never accept him as easily as she did after the Tusken massacre. And something was stopping her from fully trusting him. A gap was tearing them apart at every minute that passed. He could feel it. She was about to speak and he sensed that what she would say would break everything. It would break the relative peace in this silent dark room. It would break the sanctuary he had come back to.

Suddenly, the coldness around his heart receded, leaving him empty and exhausted.

"Ani, Obi-Wan-"

He cut her off, raising a gloved finger towards her.

"I don't want to hear about it, Padmé. Please, not tonight."

He didn't want to know what happened to Obi-Wan. He didn't want to know if he was alive or dead, if he would have to face him or kill him. He was tired, so tired and he didn't want to think of his choice and all it entailed anymore.

Did she sense the change within him? He didn't know. She only came closer, nodding slightly, small hands depriving him of his cloak soundlessly. The dark material fell at his feet and he let her undress him. The lightsaber fell down with a loud thump and he sighed deeply, pulling her closer to him and breathing into her hair. Hands divested him of layers of clothes but he stopped her when she pulled at his undershirt. Somehow she had seen the burns on his tunic, burns from Mustafar, burns from lightsabers as some Jedi vainly tried to reach him in their final moments. He had felt the small burns on his chest and didn't think much of it. But for a reason unknown to him, he didn't want her to see this. She moved closer, lips trailing on the skin of his throat, hands caressing him lower and he shut his eyes tightly, almost drowning into her. He wanted to bury himself inside of her to forget, so she could purify him somehow. But as his lips traced the outline of her neck, she pulled away slightly. Her fingertips traced his face in the darkness.

"Shower?" she whispered.

He frowned and spotted the trace of dirt on her fingertips.

He realized abruptly that Mustafar and the Jedi temple smoke had clung to him for days. He was dirty from head to toe.

He felt dirty.

She didn't await a response, taking his live hand in hers and pulling him towards the bathroom. He stopped in the middle of the room, his hand closing over hers painfully. She whirled around, eyebrow arched in confusion.

"Rest." He whispered, gesturing towards the bed. "I won't be long."

He strode towards the bathroom, the electronic door closing behind him with a hiss. The light came on automatically and he blinked at the sudden change of lightening. He sensed her confusion through the Force but she soon settled to wait for him, outside the door. Removing his boots and clothes wearily, he was about to reach the shower when something stopped him. He caught his reflection in the grand mirror above the elegant sink and stopped in his tracks.

The burns on his chest were already healing, the scars from previous battles barely visible on the tanned skin.

His face looked dead. Blue empty eyes looked back at him.

He came closer, locking his eyes on the face of the murderer in front of him.

The murderer snarled and eyed him coldly, jaw clenched. There was hatred in his eyes, blue flashing dangerously. A tiny voice whispered in the confines of his mind.

_Is it the way you looked when you killed all these- innocent- people?_

The voice pounded relentlessly inside his skull.

_What have you done?_

_What have you done?_

_What have you done?!_

His fist clenched, golden metal rising to smash the image in the mirror.

The reflection changed, the face twisting in despair.

Hot tears streamed down the dirty cheeks of the murderer. He felt the hot liquid on his own skin and closed his eyes instantly.

He turned his back to the mirror and opened blurry eyes to slide under the shower. The water was hot and calm on his skin. It rained on his body calmly, washing the dirt –and shame- off of him. He sighed, a hand passing in his wet hair, before pressing two hands on the cold wall in front of him, clenching his teeth to avoid the ache in his chest to spread over.

It was all _her_ fault somehow.

She had made the wall between him and his emotions crumble. And he had to stay strong at all costs. She didn't need her emotional husband beside her. She needed the strong Sith he was now.

Sith. _Sith_. He was a Sith now.

The realization only left emptiness inside him, the water cascading relentlessly on his back as he bent his head down.

There was a voice in his head telling him he was strong, powerful now, and he had done this for her, everything for her and he needed not be so weak. He was Darth Vader and soon enough he would own everything. He would give her everything. He would control everything.

Even his weak emotions.

* * *

 

He appeared later on, clad in a simple towel, his blue eyes piercing her as he eyed her sitting on the bed, hands fidgeting on her lap.

She looked up as he stood in front of her. She didn't say anything about the raindrops falling on the floor. She didn't seem to care for once.

"I need to know," she said suddenly.

He felt himself stiffen at the look in her eyes.

"I need to know if, if-" Her teary eyes searched his in the darkness. "If you are involved for the Temple, if you-"

"Padmé." His voice cut her off and he came closer standing directly in front of her.

The expression on her face begged him to deny it. It begged him to tell her he was still the man she loved.

He was too tired to lie.

His live hand enclosed her cheek shakily and he knelt down in front of her bed, blue eyes locking with brown ones in the darkness.

"I love you," he whispered.

He felt his lower lip begin to tremble and he brought his head forward, pressing his lips against hers, trying to convey the raw feeling in his chest, the one that made him fall down on his knees in front of Palpatine and made him crawl on the floor, begging for her life. He wanted her to feel that these words were true.

It was the only thing keeping him sane, keeping him from falling off the edge and stumbling into the darkness threatening to engulf him.

She sighed in his mouth and her small hands caressed his damp face, tangled into the wet strands of hair. His lips traced her neck, before attacking her collarbone, hands removing the top of her nightgown. She stiffened in his embrace, even when his mouth reached the outline of her breasts, a lone hand tangling into his hair.

"Tell me the truth, Anakin."

He groaned against her skin in agony.

His heart was pounding in fright in his chest, making him shake against her warm body.

"Please, Padmé…" he whispered as his hands deftly pulled back the nightgown, revealing her swollen belly.

His face twisted in despair, tears escaping his eyes in spite of himself.

"Trust me," he said through clenched teeth, his blue eyes boring into her worried ones.

Her lips closed over his swiftly and her hands clutched at his bare back as he explored her once again.

Afterwards, as they lay together, limbs tangled, he felt her belly pressing against him. The bulge, warm and solid against his skin, reminding him of other pressing matters and happiness and death was suddenly touched by a trembling golden hand.

A soft voice, whispering, breathed by his ear.

"I love you, Anakin."


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments and kudos. I feel like I'm rediscovering this story. It feels really good. Without further ado, here are two chapters in a row. The angst is just starting, folks, hang on tight.

_"You're going to kill him, aren't you?"_

_The blue eyes in front of her flickered with doubt before conveying the answer to her question._

_"He has become a very great threat."_

_Who was he trying to convince? She could not believe that he, of all people would want to kill Anakin… Her illusions were shattered, leaving her bleeding and aching. She could not believe it, could not believe in Anakin being dead. He had kissed her, held her the night before. He had. Her husband. She would not give up on him._

_"I can't."_

_It was all she could utter, her throat constricted with emotion as she replayed every word Anakin had told her, trying to interpret every sign and believe again._

_The Jedi rose silently, a sad look on his face. He stood there, his back turned to her. His voice was forlorn when he spoke to her again._

_"Anakin is the father, isn't he?"_

_She could not look into his eyes as he expected an answer. Her silence was all he needed anyway._

_"I'm so sorry."_

_His voice sounded dead. As dead as he believed Anakin to be._

_She watched him leave, her hands clutching the jappor snippet around her neck desperately, tears scattering on her pale cheeks as she struggled to breathe._

_She needed to know. Needed to hear Anakin tell her Obi-Wan had lied. Needed to feel him next to her and believe again. Needed to make sure he would be safe, away from Obi-Wan. Needed to help him if… if it was true._

_The vision of his lightsaber lashing on small bodies sent her into shaking. She bent down, clutching her belly as she sobbed.  
She was about to call for Threepio to prepare her journey when something stopped her. She stayed on the couch, frozen, remembering Obi-Wan's sad determination to find Anakin. She remembered the look on his face when he heard she would not tell him Anakin's location._

_He gave up rather easily._

_She must be the only one knowing where Anakin was and foolishly going to him could endanger him. Obi-Wan could very well follow her to Mustafar. She struggled to breathe evenly._

_Please, wait for me._

_She trusted him. She believed in him. She needed to or everything would fall down around her. He would come back and attenuate her fears. And for the time being, Obi-Wan didn't know where he was. He was safe for now.  
_

"… killing younglings…"

"Anakin has turned to the Dark side…"

He couldn't!

_Not her Anakin…_

Padmé came back to her senses slowly.

A sigh on her neck. A shiver down her spine and her arms tightening around him, bringing his warm body closer to hers in the darkness.

A warm palm cupped her belly comfortingly, caressing the skin very gently, as if she would break.

Turning in his embrace, she left her eyes closed, breathing in his skin softly.

When her eyes opened gently, she found herself drowning in blue sparkling eyes and smiled. He looked at her tenderly, one hand pushing some strands out of her forehead soundlessly. She sighed in the darkness. If she closed her eyes again, she could pretend nothing had happened.

Anakin was with her on Naboo, away from everything, away from the war and destruction. The Republic was still intact and she could still make a difference, could still prevent Palpatine from enslaving the galaxy. In this world, there was no Dark side or Sith Lords.

But Obi-Wan's words were poison in her ears.

She could not make them go away as much as she wanted to. Nor could she prevent the newly founded Empire from existing.

"Anakin…" she whispered against the crook of his neck.

He nuzzled her skin in response, lips trailing on her neck very gently.

"Obi-Wan came here."

He froze in her embrace instantly.

"He…" She struggled to breathe evenly. "He told me terrible things. Things I just can't believe…"

"What things?" His voice rumbled against her skin.

"He told me Palpatine was a Sith Lord." She exhaled loudly. "He said you were his new apprentice, that you had turned to the Dark side-" She choked, feeling her lower lip trembling.

Anakin was no longer in her arms, he was on his back, eyes turned to the ceiling, lying next to her but so far away.

Her heart pounded harder in her chest, her hands suddenly shaking in the darkness.

"He said you were the one leading the attack against the T-Temple. That you killed younglings…"

_Oh, please, say something, Anakin… Please…_

Anakin's hands started to roam on her skin again. They were oddly unwelcome on her body. The way he was caressing her made her shudder in spite of herself.

His blue eyes shone in the darkness as he looked at her again.

"Obi-Wan said this to turn you against me." He said slowly.

She frowned, shaking her head slightly.

"No, he cares about us."

Anakin straightened this time, sitting up. His shoulders were stiff when he spoke.

"Us?"

His voice had this tone again, the one he took when she saw him standing in the room earlier. She had been so afraid then, because this man almost felt like a stranger.

"He knows everything," Padmé whispered. "I-I almost went to Mustafar because I was afraid for you. Obi-Wan… He is convinced that you are a Sith now."

A chuckle from him. His back stiffened further. She struggled to sit up and passed a shaky hand on the soft skin.

"Anakin, all you have to say is that he lied and I'll believe you. Tell me this is not true."

Padmé knew she sounded like she was begging, like she was... pathetic but she didn't care. She needed to hear him denying this or she would get mad. Her hand shook more when he didn't respond.

"Anakin?" She kissed the side of his shoulder softly.

He didn't react. 

Her eyes filled in the harsh silence.

"It's true then…" She couldn't stop the horror from filling her voice.

He stood up, surprising her, her arms, the ones that wanted to embrace him despite what he had done, falling on the sheets uselessly. Her eyes followed him as he pulled on his discarded pants swiftly. He came closer to the window and eyed an unseeing point in the horizon.

"All I did was for you."

His voice and the _tone_ of it made her shudder violently. 

_For her? Killing children?_

"What are you talking about?" Padmé choked, her eyes staring at the stranger in front of her.

Obi-Wan had told her the truth while Anakin had disguised it before departing for Mustafar. 

It hurt so much she couldn't breathe.

"I have become more powerful than any Jedi." His voice rumbled from his form standing near the window. "And I have done this for you, to protect you."

"But…" she stammered. "All I want is your love."

He looked annoyed as he whirled around, standing there in front of her, rigid and immobile.

"Love won't save you, Padmé. Only my new powers can do that."

She stared at him, finally understanding what this was all about. In her mind's eye, she saw Anakin standing at the same spot days earlier, telling her he had found a way to save her from the fate awaiting her in his nightmares.

- _No, I promise you!_ -

Padmé felt tears trickling down her cheeks as she realized how blind she had been. How Palpatine must have been twisting him with his lies. How he had convinced her husband to do these atrocities to save her.

But she felt hope surge into her as she realized that if Anakin was out of Palpatine's influence, he could be the man she loved again. He was there, she was sure of it. The man she loved had stumbled down _then_ , on Tatooine, sobbing as guilt and shame coursed through him. He couldn't have killed all these people in cold blood, she refused to believe this. Obi-Wan was wrong. Her husband was no great threat. She would make him understand.

"At what cost, Ani?" She pleaded in the darkness. "You're a good person, stop this!"

"I won't lose you the way I lost my mother!" Anakin grumbled.

Padmé frowned. She could see his fists clenching and unclenching in rhythm with his shaky breaths.

"Let's go," she said suddenly.

He eyed her, frowning, seemingly not understanding. She opened her arms in invitation, urging him to come closer. When he stood in front of her, she embraced his waist swiftly, brown eyes pleading with him in the darkness.

"Come away with me, Ani… Help me raise our child. Let's run away and hide together while we still can…"

But Anakin only shook his head, looking amused.

"Can't you see, Padmé?" The golden hand came down, smoothing some curls out of her shoulders. "We can have everything here! We don't have to run away anymore! I have brought peace to the Empire! Soon enough it will be _our_ Empire! When I am strong enough, I will kill Palpatine… We will make things the way we want them to be!"

His smile, his hand starting to caress her again repulsed her and she moved away from him, the sheet wrapped around her trembling form as she stood up and backed away from him. Power mattered more than anything to him. There was no thought over whom he had killed to rule, whom he would kill later to insure his power. There was only thought of ruling and controlling. He didn't even want to be with her or their child. The fact he killed children did not seem to register in his mind. Hope crumbled down in her chest and she felt herself stumbling, falling deeper into despair.

"I can't believe what I'm hearing…" Padmé whispered, her eyes piercing him in the darkness. "Obi-Wan was right. You've changed! I don't know who you are anymore!"

His nostrils flared and he exhaled in anger.

"Do not talk of Obi-Wan here," Anakin murmured, his tone sounding strangely even more threatening. "Obi-Wan is not the one who will save you." 

"Obi-Wan is not a murderer!" she blurted out tearfully before she could think.

In one swift stride Anakin was right in front of her, hands grasping her arms roughly. Padmé winced and gaped at him in horror.

_He has become a very great threat._

"I have done all those things for you!" He raged suddenly. "And you're rejecting me! You are like the Jedi, aren't you?"

She shook her head in the darkness, realizing in horror that this was the first time she had ever felt afraid _of_ Anakin.

"Don't you turn against me!" His fingers dug in her skin and she winced.

"Anakin…" Padmé choked. "You're going down a path I can't follow! It goes against everything I believe in! Everything I am!"

"Because of Obi-Wan?"

She escaped his hurtful grasp and shook her head, tears escaping her eyes. "Because of what you've done! Of what you're planning to do!"

His golden fist clenched and she took another step backwards.

The last thing she thought she would ever want now tugged at her. She wanted to leave, away from him. Away from the stranger wearing her husband's face. She recalled the way he made love to her earlier and she flinched. His hands had been dirty, blood-filled as he caressed her. How long would he have kept her in the dark? Assuming she would agree to this?

Anakin turned his back to her and paced in the room suddenly. She could see him straining to calm himself.

"Do you want to leave me, Padmé?"

His tone sent shivers down her spine even if she could not see his face.

"No," she choked on her tears, one hand reaching out to her eyes, hiding herself from the sight in front of her. 

She had to try, one last time.

"It's not too late…" Padmé pleaded shakily, removing her hand. "I know you see things for what they are! You know this is wrong! Come back to me, Anakin, please, I-I love you…"

His back stiffened.

"You love me but you don't want to be with me." Anakin said and he turned around, a smile playing at his lips. "I'm starting to believe you are lying like everyone else."

She came closer, emboldened and caressed his chest soothingly.

"I have never lied to you, my love."

He chuckled darkly. "How about the petition of the 2,000?"

Padmé swallowed painfully. "I couldn't tell you…" She thought her throat couldn't ache more. It was so constricted she hurt. "But I never lied, Ani…. I love you, you know that…"

"Then join me!" He brought her closer, his blue eyes shining with insanity. "I will give you everything… _Everything…_ " He repeated, hands playing on the skin of her back.

"All I want is you."

His eyes darkened and he snarled.

"We will talk about that tomorrow. I am sure you will see my way eventually."

Then he was strolling around, ready to go back to bed, like they had just been discussing the weather. Padmé eyed him in shock for a while before speaking again.

"I don't know you anymore," she whispered in the dark. "I can't, Anakin, I can't stay with-"

"Don't," he growled menacingly. 

He was standing there, covered by the darkness and she could see something new shining in his eyes.

She shuddered, taking a step backwards.

_Yellow._

His eyes were turning to yellow. The color she had witnessed in the Emperor's eyes in horror. Obi-Wan was right… 

_Obi-Wan was right…_

Her chest heaved.

"Anakin-"

"Don't speak."

Her husband was lost. Lost to her, lost to everyone.

Yet she remembered. The way he held her before he left to Mustafar. The way he had looked so vulnerable, kneeling in front of her, hair wet and eyes shining with unshed tears. The way he made love to her earlier.

- _I love you._ -

And because she remembered this, because there had been glimpses of her husband, she could not give up.

"You need to hear me out-"

The rest of her words were suddenly lost as her throat constricted. In the darkness she saw his fist clench. Her lungs heaved, claiming air before it was allowed again.

Padmé coughed loudly, hands reaching her throat in disbelief and horror. It had lasted a split second but the crushing sensation of his fingers around her throat sent her into sobs. She collapsed on the floor, hands covering her eyes, the horrible reality around her. She didn't react when she felt strong hands scooping her up gently. Suddenly she was back inside the familiar bed, with a familiar body next to hers. The familiar voice was lost in her hair, whispering incoherent words next to her ear.

But some reached her mind just before unconsciousness took hold of her.

"I'm sorry, Padmé, oh please, I'm so sorry…"


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beware, I posted two chapters in a row.

The sound of muffled voices snapped Padmé out of sleep.

Moaning slightly, she opened her eyes, hand reaching instinctively on her left to look for a warm presence.

There was only an empty space.

It hit her. She had not fallen asleep. She had been knocked out.

Padmé sat up swiftly, eyes darting around, as she remembered what had transpired barely hours earlier. She could see the faint light of dawn breaking through the horizon but did not pay attention to it.

Instead, all she could feel was numbness. The dull ache down her spine at her abrupt movement did not even reach her as she realized Anakin had been the one forcing her to sleep.

Right after-

She exhaled shakily and her eyes turned to the empty space beside her. Frowning, she reported her attention back towards the sound that had pulled her out of sleep.

After retrieving her ruffled nightgown with difficulty, she pulled it on, stifling a sound of pain at the movements. She could hear Dormé and Captain Typho talking heatedly behind the door.

And Anakin was gone.

She could almost think he had joined the Temple, like he always did –before-.

But there was no longer any Temple. There were no longer Jedi.

Had he prepared himself nonchalantly to meet the Emperor? When all she could feel was bleeding and ache and emptiness in her chest?

She had no idea what to do now.

She had no idea about her place, about what she should do with Anakin. Her life had become a giant gaping hole. She felt herself fall into the abyss, unable to clutch at anything.

For the first time ever, she yearned for someone else's advice. Her thoughts turned to her family and her lip trembled as she pictured herself running into her parents' waiting arms, weeping but safe in their home.

The next thought weaving its way inside her mind tore her apart.

_I don't want to see him._

She cast a glance to the shut bedroom door and sighed deeply. Her feet took her to the veranda wearily. She dropped on the sofa, lip trembling as she eyed the Coruscant traffic, speeders flying right and left even at such an early hour. She gulped in the fresh air hungrily, the coldness on her face reviving her slightly.

The baby kicked firmly. Her hand mind-absently rubbed the spot on her belly in mute comfort.

_Breathe in. Breathe out._

She concentrated on the calm wind brushing on her face, on the calmness of the traffic around her. So normal.

If she opened her eyes, she would see Obi-Wan standing there, in front of her. His back to her, as he asked if Anakin was the father and his words about her husband who was a traitor and a Sith and the one responsible of the fall of all she held dear… _and pressing his fingers around her throat for a single instant, but long enough for her to feel them on her skin…_ Not caressing the skin of her neck. _Pressing…_

She could still feel the sudden surge of blood in her veins, the panic as she felt the breath escape her lungs.

_The color in his eyes._

Hope had left her definitely. Even the fresh air did not seem to give it back to her. The flaps of her nightgown brushed against her legs almost soothingly but one single tear trickled down her cheek.

There was only emptiness inside her chest.

* * *

 

"Milady?"

The voice reached Padmé's ears but she didn't move, eyes lost in the distance.

"You should come to see what the Holonet just announced."

She didn't turn her head sideways, only sighed and focused on the soothing vision of ships flying in the distance.

Dormé had insisted on leaving to the Senate all day.

Padmé had failed to tell her handmaiden that she had already talked to the Queen in the morning.

Padmé Amidala was no longer a Senator. It had not taken long for Palpatine to announce she was married to Anakin. In the middle of the research for Obi-Wan and Master Yoda after their botched attempt to kill the Emperor,

_–Two Jedi entered the Senate and attempted to kill the Emperor once again, one of them being the one we thought to be a hero once. Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Negotiator, betrayed us all. The two Jedi are searched for in the whole galaxy_ -

Palpatine had taken advantage of the situation to state their marriage publicly.

And somehow, in the midst of it all, the Queen had heard of it. And of her pregnancy.

_"Congratulations, Senator Amidala."_

_The slightest hint of disgust on her face._

_The Queen had always been protective of the Jedi's reputation throughout her reign. To her, the rumors and whispers about their actions had been marks of ungratefulness. Jedi were heroes._

_And the Senator of Naboo was married to the one who murdered them all._

_"You understand that I can no longer keep you as a Senator?"_

Padmé had always expected it. Even yearned for it deep inside of her at some point, when she still dreamed of a nursery on Naboo.

She had never expected it to hurt like that.

She had not dared come back to the Senate and face Bail. Face Mon Mothma and hear the whispers around her.

There were too many reporters around her apartment anyway.

"I already know, Dormé." Padmé replied, turning away from her window to face her trusted handmaiden.

Dormé looked at her mistress in concern. "There's more, milady. The Emperor officially announced your husband was his second in command. He gave him an honorary title…" Dormé trailed off and Padmé braced herself for what was next.

"Anakin Skywalker is to be called Lord Vader now."

A deep breath.

"And you are to be called Lady Vader."

* * *

 

Anakin came back very late that night. He looked exhausted and he wouldn't look at her in the eye.

Padmé couldn't even take refuge in the veranda.

Too many Holoreporters.

"You're not sleeping?" he whispered, approaching her in the darkness as she stood near the window, watching the Jedi Temple from afar.

Still standing. With corpses inside.

"The Queen retired my title of Senator," Padmé said dully.

He paused behind her. "I'm sorry."

_Sorry for what? This or choking her the night before?_

Padmé didn't reply or let her thoughts known, focusing her eyes on the distance stubbornly.

"Are you happy, Anakin?" she whispered. "Everyone knows about us now."

She couldn't quite keep the bitterness out of her voice.

Anakin didn't reply.

"No one stands between us," he finally replied very softly, surprisingly.

_No. No one._

_You killed them all._

The thought wanted to escape her mind, her mouth but she couldn't speak.

Instead, she didn't reply, fixing her eyes on the landscape. She didn't know if she could stand looking at him.

This man was not her husband. He was a stranger to her and everyone.

_Obi-Wan was right…_

A hand rested on her shoulder abruptly. She felt the urge to shake it away.

The feather-like sensation of his real fingertips on her cheek. She shut her eyes in reflex and bit her lip as his fingers caressed the skin gently.

Her lower lip trembled.

She turned around swiftly and buried her face in the crook of his neck.

There were no words. She didn't want them.

His arms came up around her, pressing her closer against him. He held her silently as she cried in the darkness.


End file.
